Scene: Marketing room at a Major Publishing House
A boardroom with five white middle to upper class people,
discussing a title change in order to launch a book
Rodney: Brainstorm guys!
Lucinda 1: Thought shower Rodders, Thought shower.
Lucinda 2: Yeah, Roddykins think of all those poor darlings
with epilepsy or ADD or...ooh, shoes. (Lucinda 2 stares off into the distance.)
Lucinda 3: I’ve got it...(Lucinda 3 stands and walks to the
flip chart, grabs a permanent marker and writes, The Girl. She sits down clearly exhausted.) Phew...blood rush.
All three Lucinda’s laugh and for some inexplicable reason
Rodney turns red from the neck up.
Piers: Is it enough?
Lucinda 4 enters the room carrying a tray with a bottle of
Bolly and six glasses: Have I missed anything?
Rodney: Lovely Lulu has come up with a spiffing title for
our new thriller but Piers is concerned.
Piers: Is it enough? I mean with Gone Girl, Girl on a Train,
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, The Girl Who Was Saturday Night
Rodney looks puzzled
Piers: Not one of ours Rodo! Savage Girl, Wartime Girls,
Girl Interrupted, the list goes on
Lucinda 2: What about?...(stares of into the distance once
more)
Lucinda 3: The Gone Girl On A Train With a Dragon Tattoo On
A Saturday Night
The whole room turns to look at Lucinda 3, seriously
contemplating her title idea
Piers: But what’s it about?
The 4 Lucinda’s respond “Who cares, who has read the bloody
thing anyway” and cackle
Piers: shrugs and sweeps his foppish hair back from his eyes:
Open the bloody champers, time to celebrate!
Rodney: We’ll print a million, chuck a few hundred grand at
it and see what happens eh? Tube posters everywhere, lots of bus advertising
and let’s give away 40,000 to generate word of mouth buzz. The buyers will love
it!
Lucinda 4: It always seems to work Rodder’s!
